


Brusque, Terse, and Laconic

by cytheriafalas



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-24 20:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/944292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cytheriafalas/pseuds/cytheriafalas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From this post on tumblr. "I think all my fellow Runner 5’s can agree. Sam Yao’s happiness is our number one priority." I reblogged it with the following tags: "#um yeah #yeah pretty much it is #god now i want to write fic #where like sam's upset about something #and it's not even IMPORTANT but he's upset #and the runners are all frantically trying to figure out why #and how to fix it #because sam needs to be happy #because he's their operator and he's sam and if sam isn't happy then something isn't right #and so they bring stupid shit home from runs #like games #and dvds they can't really play #and weird books that might make him laugh #zombies run #stop #this needs to not happen" and I was kindly asked to write it. So I did. Also, some people are fairly picky about "they" being used as a singular pronoun, but as Runner Five can be either male or female, rather than assigning gender, I just went with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brusque, Terse, and Laconic

"Welcome home, Runners," Sam’s voice said. "Good run."

The headset clicked off abruptly. Simon looked cross-eyed down at the mic over his mouth as though he could see Sam through it. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Maggie giving him a similar look.

"What was that?" Simon asked, pulling his headset down so it looped around his neck.

"Brusque," Maggie said.

Simon considered making some sort of 'is that a barbecue sauce' joke but decided against it at the last minute. He'd even formulated the first few words, but he filed it away for future use. Possibly on Sam. He would laugh. "He's been like this a while, hasn't he?"

"Since that mission with Five, yeah."

"No, he was like that before."

Simon jumped a solid half foot in the air. Well, not really. Definitely further than he was comfortable admitting. Maggie just rolled her eyes and turned to greet Runner Five who had fallen into step with them.

"Do you know what's upsetting him?" Maggie asked.

Runner Five shook their head. "No idea. He's been terse for a while now."

"Laconic, really," Jordan said, joining them on Five's other side. "I assume you're talking about Sam?"

Simon leaned forward to see past Maggie and Five. "Yeah."

"The solution is obvious, then, right?" That was a new voice on Simon's other side and he jumped again, hand clamped to his chest. Runner Five was damn near silent but Justin made it seem like everyone else in Abel was yodeling and playing those weird instruments they gave you in band when you were a kid with the bumps and the wooden stick.

"Okay there, Simon?" Justin asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, fine. No heart attacks or anything."

"Good man," Justin said, clapping him on the shoulder with enough force to make him stumble. Just for show, Simon stumbled a bit more than was necessary, knocking Maggie straight into Five.

"There's a solution?" And that was Sara. Simon almost demanded that they all stop so at least he'd have a chance to see the next person sneaking up on them from behind. "To what? Sam's attitude lately?"

"Brusque."

"Terse."

"Laconic."

Sara gave the three a sideways look. "Right. That."

Finally they came to a halt in the center of the quad. Simon was pretty certain it couldn't look _more_ like they were plotting something, short of actually passing out assault rifles and C4.

"So what's this master plan of yours?" Simon asked. Partially he was curious. Partially he didn't want Janine (or the Major, dear god, that would be atrocious) striding over here and demanding why they looked like a cadet review.

"We find some way to cheer him up," Justin said as though it was perfectly obvious.

"It's not exactly like we can find a liquor store full of vodka and rum," Five said.

"That's your go-to for cheering someone up?" Maggie asked.

"Vodka cheers everyone up. And rum cheers up everyone else."  
\---  
Occasionally the Runners brought back really strange things. Sam, and to a lesser extent Janine and Maxine, had come to accept that. The Viagra incident was legendary. The time the previous Runner Five had come in with her bag overflowing with stuffed ferrets. Sam later learned that was revenge because apparently Chris was _terrified_ of them. He filed that away as potentially useful information.

This, however, was getting excessive. And it started with Kytan of all people.

Runner Eleven was standing in front of him with a drum. Sam wasn't really used to Runners tracking him down in the comms shack unless something during the run had gone horribly, horribly wrong, so he just stared at Kytan for a few seconds, his mouth half-open.

"Uh?"

Kytan held the drum out. "Here. I got this for you."

Sam took it. It was heavier than he'd expected, with a long rope wrapped around the middle. "I, uh, thank you?"

"It's a djembe drum," Kytan explained. "They're traditional. In some African countries."

Sam looked around. "We're... not in Africa. And you're not from Africa." He hesitated. "Are you?"

Kytan shrugged, grinning. "Didn't you watch those BBC documentaries? We're all from Africa."

With that particularly enigmatic piece of advice, Kytan jogged down the stairs and headed toward the hospital for his post-run checkup. Sam took the drum inside and set it in the corner. Maybe he could use it to annoy Janine next time she decided she had to check up on him during a run.

If that had been all Sam probably would have dismissed it as a Runner bored during a run and gone on with his life.

The next day Runner Five was due to go out on what Janine described as "An easy supply run" and Sam almost cried. He'd told them all not to use the E word before a run. "Simple" and "Safe" were likewise forbidden. Someone _always_ jinxed it, but Runner Five had given him an easy smile when they crossed paths a few minutes before the run.

"I told Janine not to say it," Sam said.

Runner Five shrugged and waved, jogging easily to the front gates. Runner Five was weird and as chatty as anyone else until called for a run. Sam made up all sorts of stories in his head when he was bored... and he often was on runs with Five. They were good enough friends, at least after that mission--the one where he'd stayed up for hours talking to someone he'd half believed was dead, but silence could get old. At least Roman told him to shut up once and a while. Runner Five just let him prattle on. Maybe he could use the drum now. Just to see.

The run had been atrocious. Abhorrent. Horrific. Awful. Any and every word along that line. Runner Five had made it home with the help of four hastily summoned runners with a stretcher, a sniper on the walls, with Garick and his gun along as backup.

When Sam ran down there to apologize all he got out was "I'm so sorry, I couldn't _see_ \--" and suddenly Runner Five shoved a clinking bag in his arms and grinned. It was a pained grin and they were slightly pale and greenish, but it was a grin. Sam didn't even have a chance to look in the bag before Maxine reached them and was running with them back to the hospital. Sara tugged at the bag and snorted.

"Five _would_."

She trotted off after the stretcher. Sam peered hesitantly into the bag. Four unopened bottles of vodka. He sent a bewildered look after them but headed back into the comms shack to set the vodka by the drum.

Even that would have been okay because Runner Five always insisted they were trying to find some way to pay him back for getting them home safe that night, but the next day Jody and Simon appeared with a bag of board games, Crack Whore, After the Holocaust, Baby Boomer--apparently a game about a baby with a gun--, and Audit: The Tax Game. Sam thanked them hesitantly and set them beside the drum and vodka.

He began to think something weird was going on. He tried to kindly refuse the next gift, a box of the dried ingredients for chocolate chip cookies, from Runner One by insisting it wasn't his birthday. That didn't get him far and the box joined the rest on the floor, although Sam was thrilled to see that the only necessary addition was water. And an oven, which he didn't exactly have.

Asking straight out what they were doing wasn't any good. Justin, Erik, and Stephanie just shoved the bag into his hands and walked out. When Sam opened the bag to see what was inside, he slammed it shut again immediately. The DVD was titled _Whorrey Potter_ and after taking a look at the cover he was pretty sure he knew what it was about. That joined the growing pile, hidden between the vodka and cookie mix. Closer hesitant inspection revealed the complete collection of _Blackadder_ , season one and three of _Farscape_ , and a region one copy of _Iron Man_. The regions on DVDs had always confused him and now he was pretty sure he wasn't going to get his hands on a DVD player that could handle region one.

Imran, whom he had always considered to be a rational if somewhat frightening man, brought him books titled "Raising Your Kids to Be Sexually Pure" and "Satan You Can't Have My Marriage." He looked very serious until Sam snorted.

"They're from me and Evan. Enjoy."

He also got a pair of rusted handcuffs sans key (Maggie), a Tesco bag with _more_ vodka (Cameo), and a kitten (Atwood and David). They all joined the growing pile in the far corner of the comms shack. It finally came to a head, so to speak, when Sara tossed an unopened box of condoms at him and nodded toward where Runner Five, Maggie, and Andrew where stretching in a group in the training area. He wasn't _entirely_ certain which of them she was referring to.

The next day Sam called all of the Runners to the quad. He didn't even have a good excuse, but Evan said they'd all be there and they all were, just after sunrise and rubbing at their eyes.

"What's up, Sam?" Sara asked, settling on the damp ground beside El Khwargo. He shifted aside, nudging Roman with his elbow. With a pointed groan, Roman moved over as well.

"I could ask all of _you_ the same question," Sam said. He pointed toward the comms shack. The kitten chose that exact moment to hop out the hastily-added cat-flap and trot down the stairs.

"That looks like a cat," Maggie offered. "Did you forget you had one?"

"What I want to know is _why_ I have one."

"Don't you like cats?" Sara asked. "I swear I remember you telling me you had one before you went to college..."

"Well, yeah, I like cats, but why did David and Atwood bring me one?"

There was a long, suspicious silence. The Runners looked back and forth at each other until Jody spoke up.

"You've been really upset lately."

"I--what?"

Jody looked between the other Runners, but when none of them offered to speak, she shrugged. "You've been really upset lately. Like, really. And all of the runs have been going well--I mean, aside from what happened to Runner Five, 'cause that was just a bit of a mess and no one’s fault, but everyone's okay now anyway so, uh, what I mean is--" Jody shrugged again, drawing her knees up to her chest. "You've been really upset lately."

"That's what this is about?" Sam asked. He was still really confused, but things were beginning to make sense.

"We just wanted to cheer you up," Maggie offered.

"And when Runner Five suggested vodka, well, we all had to top it," Evan said, flashing a brilliant grin in Five's direction. He grew serious again. "As head of Runners at Abel, it's my responsibility to keep these guys in top shape. And they're not in top shape if you're not."

"Guys, you didn't have to do this for me."

Sara stood up. Almost as though that were some sort of a cue, the rest of the runners stood up as well, brushing grass clippings from their clothes.

"Like it or not, Mr. Operator, you're our number one priority. Aside from feeding all of Abel. And occasionally rescuing stranded survivors in the woods," Simon said. "And sometimes organizing a mass choir to sing _Hakuna Matata_ and _I'll Make a Man Out of You_ , but, uh, that was a one-time thing."

"That was _you_?" Sam asked. Sara spoke right over him.

"And now, Sam, some of us are due for a run as soon as the zoms move out of range. Maggie, Jody. Let's get ready. It's time."


End file.
